We all love to talk about ourselves.
It’s so easy to talk about ourselves, right? It’s easy to share our history, our ideas, what made us become artists, and what we enjoy about being artists. We can go on and on about our techniques, our tools of the trade, and why we use a certain kind of tool for a certain kind of effect.
And if we are really good at telling our stories, we can fascinate a total stranger and become entertaining tour guides of our art and our souls. But the listener, while fascinated and even very attentive, is distant and unattached to you or your art. They don’t feel included.
This is not a conversation. This is someone talking at them, not engaging them. They are not becoming invested in the idea of ownership. And the more you talk, the less invested they become.
Egos need comforting
Here’s the rub: we all want to talk about ourselves, offer a thought, show off our knowledge, be “in-the-know”, and prove our worth. We all want to be the center of attention now and then. We all want to feel important!
So while you are busy telling them all about you, they are beginning to feel that you don’t care about them. You took a simple question like, “How long have you been an artist?” and turned it into a full-blown story of your life. You aren’t showing any interest in what matters to them. You are making it all about you when it should be all about them.
Our Egos totally control this dance. We all love it when we are recognized as fascinating, or clever, or awe-inspiring, so please, I beg you: Recognize them! Let them be fascinating, clever, and show off their expertise. Best of all, let them share their dreams!
Ask questions
The easiest way to be curious about what matters to them is to ask them questions. And if they want to tell you their entire life story, so be it! Whatever they share, it’s a story that they apparently need to tell in order to be comfortable with you. Let them grow more and more comfortable. They won’t buy anything until they are totally comfortable.
None of us buy anything (car, mattress, or a ticket to a movie) until we are totally comfortable and feel secure.
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…and please add your thoughts in the comments and share with your network…
McKenna,
Thanks for taking the time to send past students like me more info. This is a sore spot for me, talking bout myself and process, rather than taking time and interest in the potential client. Maybe first step is to see them not as clients, but just guests of Maui.
Aloha,
Emi
You’re Welcome, Emi. Happy to help. They are not just guests of Maui. THEY ARE CLIENTS. More to the point, they are people who NEED hats.
You want it to be all about their needs, right? Seriously…they NEED hats. They need them for (make a list!) many reasons, not the least of which is because they were hand-made by an artist they met while visiting Maui.
BE CURIOUS. Ask them questions. Say a few quick things (stay brief!) to acquaint them as most will not understand you made these fabulous items. A quick clear statement that you are a Milner and have been creating one of a kind hats for…? 30 years ?. Sample questions: Have they ever met a Milner/hat maker? Have they ever owned a Fine Art hand-crafted hat? What occasion do they think they will want the hat for? Do they live in a sunny climate and would they see themselves wearing a hat every day or are they thinking of a special occasion or event? Look like you care about their needs by actually caring about their needs with questions about their needs.
Having had the opportunity to work one-on-one (E’s Dropping) with you and your fine products – just focus on them more. Your story is only vaguely interesting compared to their story they want to develop when they walk away with your hat and friends and family admire their purchase.
You should buy my book. I will have a copy the next time we are together. It’s like an ever-lasting dose of my private E’s dropping!