*Read time: 5-6 minutes*
I have had a long love affair with my 1941 Roget’s Thesaurus! It was my Dad’s. And I get great joy from my more “modern” version from 1977. I’m such a word nerd!
Recently, I relied heavily on my thesauri. (Yes, that is the plural. I looked it up!) A website review turned into a re-write for a client’s soon-to-be-launched website. Here’s an example of one of many ineffective sentences from their “About Us” page: “We strive to bring the best results we can for our clients.”
That kind of sentence always gets a small cringe from me.
Here’s my fix: “We bring over 20 years of highly successful (the service was named) experience to every project and we guarantee your satisfaction.”
I left nothing to anyone’s imagination! This is a great company. There should be no doubting this fact. They have terrific testimonials to share. This is not the time to be humble.
There was an even more cringe-worthy sentence at the end of this critically important “About Us” page: “We hope you will consider us for your future projects.” While that is nice, there is no call-to-action (CTA) and no sense of urgency. My fix: “We look forward to a no-obligation, free consultation to learn about your special project’s needs. Click here to contact us.”
As I hunted down all the weak words and sentences and even removed entire paragraphs, I realized that I come across several common problems with nearly every copy writing project I have done over the years.
Here are some mistakes that really hurt your sales:
1. You believe your website should be about you and your business.
A bit misleading perhaps, but the point is: It’s always “all about them”. They want to know, “What’s in it for me?” You need to answer that question again and again all over your site. Show your client that you care about their outcome and have solutions. That’s how you build trust. Only then can you sell yourself and your actual product or service.
2. Using generic or passive sentences.
A common mistake, passive sentences are at best wishy-washy or at worse, they send people off your site. Take this example: “We hope you will spend time looking at our offers here.” Fix: Click to see what’s in our latest shipment. Or this timid invite: “We invite you to visit our store next time you’re in town.” Fix: Come visit our store – it’s worth a special trip. “We can help you in many ways.” Fix: We fix (name the problem).
3. You don’t tell your readers what you want them to do or where to go on your site.
The clock is ticking. If you don’t have a clear path, they will leave. All paths should lead to a sale or increased information to help them consider buying. Taking from the above example, “We fix (name the problem)”, this is also where you add a specific CTA: Click Here to see the before and after gallery. Or: Click Here to read testimonials. Keep them focused and engaged and tell them what to do next. And after you announce “Come visit our store – it’s worth a special trip” you add another CTA: Click here to see pictures and hours of operation.
Note to brick and mortars: a map and hours of operation deserve their own menu item and landing page. Do this now.
4. You Don’t Ask For the Sale.
If you are not clearly outlining that you have something for sale, you run the risk of them not thinking about buying from you. They need to know what you have for sale. They need to know as much detail as possible, including shipping methods. Maybe, you can offer them an incentive for acting now or soon? And you need to have a big fat button somewhere that leads them to a shopping cart and/or a phone number where they can follow-up on their urges, right now!
5. Allowing visitors to leave without getting contact information.
This is a major lost opportunity. The increasingly useless button that says, “Like us on Facebook” is once again an example of being passive. With Facebook’s recent changes, you might as well be saying, “Please leave my site and let’s take our chances of running into each other again someday, somewhere, over the rainbow.” The pot of gold (that never really was easy to find) is now nearly non-existent on Facebook.
And don’t kid yourself; they may never find their way back to your website again. Do you think they will bookmark your site? Do you bookmark sites? And if they do bookmark your site, will they return someday? Do you return to sites that you bookmark?
THE FIX: Make sure you have an email sign-up at several locations on your site. Offer an incentive to get people to sign-up. Every person who takes the time to visit your site, even if just for a minute or two, has shown interest. If they are willing to give you their email address, they are saying, “Keep me posted!” You need to do that.
They might not need your product or service today. However, if they never have another encounter with you again, what is the likelihood that they will ever buy from you in the future? And again…. it never hurts to ask!
Thanks for your information, I like to exhibit & sell my work, so please visit my site and give me any suggestion and your valuable
comments.
Your work is very sophisticated and I can see you have a very successful career. Congratulations!
I would encourage you to have a way for people to purchase and to stay in touch. I would therefore recommend you add a shopping cart and put several sign up forms on your site to gather emails.
You can skype me if you want to more advice. The time difference is not to bad: 9:55:21 AM Friday 6 March 2015 is 6:25 PM Thursday for me.
Email me if you want to pursue more conversation.
Best wishes…Mckenna
Thank you so much for your valuable advice….
You are welcome!
Really useful information. Thanks
You’re welcome! Hope it helped!
Wonderful advice. Know I can do better and will make many of the changes you suggested in your article.
Thanks Kathy! Hope you will sign-up for my emails, too. I only send out a couple a month, but each one will have solid advice! Let me know if you have any questions at any time.
WOW…. I just visited your site and as usual, the more professional and more accomplished someone is, the more they “show-up” and look for ways to improve.
So quickie: more sign-ups for emails and can you lower the density of your background? That will be hard on the eyes on a cell phone screen. OH and BTW: lovely lovely work!!! I invite everyone to go see her site: http://www.artbykrf.com
Thank you Mckenna!
Our site is under construction. Not-to-mention, we are a manufacturer, so purchasing from the site is not feasible. However, I am starting a new division at PTM and these tips are great for my introductory email package. I am changing the wording today before sending out anything else to my prospective clientele.
Thanks again!
I visited your site. Don’t underestimate the ability to do some kind of online sales!
I would love to suggest a few ideas for your site since it is under construction. You have some marketing issues throughout the site and I see some weak spots. After several minutes on your site, I am confused. Here’s one section in one part of one area of your website (see how complex this is?)
“New work is added to the PTM product collection daily, increasing catalogue options to fulfill the needs of our vast client range and price points.” Sentences like that don’t help. Instead: “We constantly add to our inventory and make sure we have every price point and every style possible. We have whatever you need.”
And I must emphasize: white lettering on a black background is really hard on most people’s eyes on most devices and almost impossible on a phone. Reverse that and people will linger longer. You want them to linger as long as possible.
Really great tips, Mckenna.
Shared them on my blog here: http://sellingtogiftshops.com/2015/04/30/5-suggestions-to-increase-web-sales/
Sandy Dell
Thanks, Sandy! Love when you spread me around! I will check out the comments over there, too.