Trust takes more than just a handshake or exchange of smiles. It’s nice to be nice to a stranger (or potential collector) and that will certainly go a long way towards building trust. But, when it comes to spending money, people have more than a few ways to build up a mistrust of you, themselves, and the object they are considering. It’s an emotional rollercoaster ride – up and down, yes and no.
They are often in a “fight or flight” mode
Spending money, a little or a lot, is fraught with questions, fears, and uncertainty. There is a lot of natural resistance. If it’s something for ourselves, we often get hung up on the little voice that questions if we deserve it. (It’s interesting how we can buy a gift for someone much more easily than for ourselves, isn’t it?). It’s very easy for a potential buyer to just say no. Maybe not out loud, but within their yes-no tug of war in their hearts and minds.
“NO!” always has more power than “yes”.
We talk ourselves out of all kinds of buying opportunities nearly every day. In fact, nowadays, opening up our emails leads to several “no, not that, not now, not interested” internal conversations. Today, people can make a dozen buying decisions over their first cup of coffee or while commuting to work. Mostly they are saying no! It can be a hard habit to break…just sayin…!
Therefore, it’s important to understand what you might be doing to move them closer to saying “no” – maybe even “never”. One of the most difficult things we do as artists when presenting our creations is establishing a trusting relationship.
We all need to feel like we are being understood.
That seems obvious, but this is not an ordinary “need”. If someone, who is considering owning your art, feels that you don’t “get them” or understand them, they won’t trust sharing their real thoughts. If they don’t share their real thoughts, then (oh it gets worse) they begin to no longer care what you think or what you say. And your authority and credibility are nearly impossible to resurrect.
Your attempt at authenticity is dismantled minute by minute in their minds. It’s drowned out by their lack of feeling for you or what you are saying because they feel, and therefore they know, you don’t understand them.
They said they like orange and you keep showing them green
Don’t do that. Instead, find out why orange matters. Ask them why they like silver more than gold or what is special about yellow diamonds or turquoise. Ask them why they like narrow scarves better than wide scarves. When they know that you understand what they like and why they like it, they will feel open to sharing more about the specifics that are moving them towards deeper consideration.
They will actually share more about their thoughts in the consideration stage with you. And as you learn more about what will truly satisfy their needs, you can help them in the decision stage as well. This only happens when they feel you are more than just the “seller”, but rather their advisor, their “decision coach”.
They might not buy today, but they are very likely to buy in the future. And, as a side benefit from this trusted relationship, getting their contact information is a breeze. They want YOUR email in their inbox. They want that future connection because they want to say “yes” to an email from you someday.
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This article really hit home, both as a seller and as a buyer. I often find that your words trigger an “I knew that. I just didn’t recognize I knew that, duh!” type of realization that I see in my students eyes when I bring one of these gems out into the open. Your words about being in the flight or fight mode was one of those gems…a BIG one that inspires contemplation (on both sides of that fence) and integration.
I also see that this flight or fight applies to having too many choices in direction that have been leading to overwhelment in my life lately. Which then lead me to customers possibly being overwhelmed with too many choices and causing this type of shut down.
I love and look forward to your words of wisdom. Thank you once again for your incredible wisdom and insight Mckenna.
You couldn’t have paid me a bigger compliment than this, Wendy: “I knew that. I just didn’t recognize I knew that, duh!”
When I hit publish on these articles, that’s what I always hope to achieve. I want you (all of you) to know this stuff already, but now have it be in your conscious mind to be explored, integrated, and enacted in your engagements.
So thank-you. Thank-you for this complete validation of this post from your vantage point. I hope others are affected in a similar fashion.